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Goldfish Bowl

from A Breath She Took by Frances Livings

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Jazzoetry Recording of Goldfish Bowl

So once again we were recording live, in a dialogue between voice and instrument and Goldfish Bowl, became the second poem on the EP. This piece is about the taxing and highly confusing effects of being psychologically abused. It's about how a state of crazy, notions of being trapped – even if only in one's own head– slowly take hold, destroying self-confidence and self-trust. Goldfish Bowl is about utter helplessness churning into hopelessness being that the abuse is already taking a severe toll.

lyrics

Goldfish Bowl

A dish of cloudy water
and he laughed at me
gazing into the mud of my blue
billowing sheets of claiming smiles
kissing my forehead, patting my frown
reaching for a strand of hair
reaching for my beautiful gown –

Of silver, gold and turquoise-blue
in preciousness I’m clad.
But one by one and two by two
my scales are itching,
peeling – scab
dropping into a deep well
falling, like copper pennies
spinning, tumbling, beyond return
– no wishes to follow them though

Ghastly green fluorescent light
leaking into my globe
eyes so sore, a greyish-matt
the rays of life – an artifact
desolate thoughts, so none of the shore
rocks scraping belly, ascend?
No more.

But daylight is stubborn
bundled hope luring
falsely cheer-leading and patronizing
jeering at me through a magnifying glass
that merely scorches my skin –
the tide will soon be coming in

The waters will clean and wash up the drowned
but all I can hear is the seagulls
distant voices screaming
screeching and accusing
me and the world
me and the waves
accusing!
accusing!

I am so tired of combing my hair.
It should have been golden anyway.
Oh, lips?
A never blossomed English rose
I am tired, I’m tired and grey
and wish he would just go away
I’m swimming, no, sinking,
circling and drowning
drowning in a gold fish bowl

© Frances Livings 2008

credits

from A Breath She Took, released January 20, 2019
:
Credits:
Artist: Frances Livings
Label: Moontraxx, 2019
Frances Livings - vocals
Matthew Cooker - cello

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about

Frances Livings Los Angeles, California

The London-born artist Frances Livings can be heard on a variety of recordings. Besides music, she has worked as a designer, has earned a PhD in art history and is the founder of the music production company Moontraxx.
Drawing from these different life experiences has made her ability to both craft and tell a story very unique.
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